The processor that worked with 100 pairs – 5 annoying habits that “destroy” relationships

until The strongest and happiest relationships It can stumble when small, frustrated habits apparently leave without treatment. They accumulate slowly even, suddenly, their weight looks unbearable.

When the relationships end in this way, it often wanders in the straw that broke the back of the camel. ”K. Psychotherapist What worked with more than 100 pairs, I saw closely how some of the behaviors that were not checked between the driving of the partners can lead.

Below are the five most common and annoying habits that I have seen destroy relationships:

1. Assuming that your partner can read your mind

Instead of expressing their needs clearly, many people expect their partners to know exactly what they need, when they need it. But this is an easy way to prepare yourself to disappoint.

Psychologists refer to it as “The illusion of transparency,“Cognitive bias, where people assume that their emotions and desires are clear to others, when they are not.

According to researchExaggeration in estimating the amount of what your partner knows about your inner thoughts is harmful and leads to resentment, because communication is the basis of a strong healthy relationship.

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In successful relationships, both partners create a safe place where each can express their needs and want them without fear or shame. So, instead of expecting your partner to pick up the sermon, you only need to spell it for them: “This means a lot for me if you help the dishes tonight.”

2. Maintain the result

Healthy relationships can turn quickly when couples begin to get actions and errors in each other. Once “maintaining the result”, the relationship turns into competition or both, and unfortunately, one person is usually short.

research It indicates that you follow the act of what he did in the relationship – whether it is business, preferred or sacrifices – always leads to debt. This, in turn, can also diminish Dental.

The dream mentality often leads to a relationship of relationship of transactions; Kindness becomes a way to achieve an end, and loses all originality. In fact, however, abandoning anything in return is the best way to build a partnership for beginners.

3. A aggressive negative behavior

Antistial negative behavior It is a confirmed way to express dissatisfaction with a partner without already solving the problem. Imagine that your partner is upset with you and choosing to tell you by blocking affection or making a hidden blow.

While it is not necessarily public, research It indicates that aggressive negative behavior often indicates dissatisfaction and resentment, which should not be ignored in a romantic relationship.

Not only painful and confusing, but also leaves the partners without any way to move forward. Without a directly open conversation about the problem raised, there is no chance until it is constructed in a constructive manner.

4. The back seat leads their lives

You are constantly telling how to deal with your job, hobbies, or even your friendships, you will leave you feel control and cohesion. No one loves unwanted advice, and no one wants to feel that he is running, especially in his own relationship.

Relationship satisfaction decreases as soon as the partnership begins to feel as if it is the dynamics of parents and the child, which occurs quickly as soon as the assistance turns into permanent back driving. It may be easy to overcome the separation line between constructive comments and hostile criticism – and according to researchThe latter can lead to low relationship satisfaction.

The most important role you play as a partner is to know when your inputs are presented, and most importantly, when your job is simply supporting them.

5. Listen to the response

One of the most negligent things that the partner can do is to listen purely in order to prepare their next response instead of Listen actively.

And if you do not learn, explore or absorb yourself with what your partner really says, research It indicates that you are likely to encounter just as arrogant, not useful. The happiest husbands listen to each other with the aim of understanding, and not only to give two years in this regard.

What do you do about these annoying habits

If any of these habits strikes very little from the house, then you do not panic. You are not convicted, and your relationship has not been broken.

Relationships take work, and often this work begins to catch you in action, take breathing and choose a different way to move forward. So if you find yourself sliding in any of these patterns, or perhaps disturb it by your partner who shows it: talk about it, own it and try again.

Most of the time, it is not the same habit that breaks the relationship, but rather refused to change it.

Yardan TarfarsLCSW, is a psychotherapist and a clinical manager in WakeA company from the availability of psychotherapy online, consulting and training. It also helps in organizing the site of mental health and popular wellness, Therapytips.org. Yardan got MSW from Maryland and BP University from California State University Northridge.

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