I studied more than 200 children – this is a more dangerous phrase in parenthood

There are two words that slide easily when your child tests an emotional event. Maybe they stumbled, fell or fought a battle with a friend. Their face screams, and before they have the opportunity to speak, you say: “You are fine.”

It looks comfortable. Reassure, even. But it is not. your Conscious Parents and Motherhood Trainer Defense of emotional health for children, I studied more than 200 children-and I saw this intention of intention and excessive use that caused long-term damage to ways that most parents have not realized.

In fact, because it seems very harmful at first, it is the most dangerous phrase in paternity and motherhood. Here is the reason, and what do I say instead:

1. He teaches children to complain about their emotions.

When the child is clearly disturbed and hears “you are fine”, he sends a confusing message: What I feel should not be real. Over time, this separates them from their inner emotional world and teach them the lack of confidence in their instincts.

2. It nullifies their experience when they need you more.

You may say that with love, but the child hears: “Your feelings do not matter.” The dismissal – no matter how hidden – teaches them that comfort and communication are available only when they are calm and comfortable. This is where emotional repression begins.

3. Short circular circuits emotional processing.

Emotions aim to move across the body. When we cut this natural process with early reassurance, we rob children of the ability to identify, organize and organize their emotions. Instead of building flexibility, we are building avoidance.

4. He knows that love is conditional.

Without realizing this, phrases such as “You are fine”, “stop crying”, or “don’t be afraid” children to believe that they should suppress their emotions to stay accepted. And when love feels a condition, emotional safety – the basis of mental health – begins to collapse.

5. The child’s pressure can be renewed.

The nervous system develops through frequent experiments. When the child is disturbed and intercourse with chapter instead of support, his body learns that it is not safe to express feelings. Over time, this can reshape their nervous system to expect separation, making it difficult to trust, organize and feel safe themselves.

What do I say instead of “you are fine”

Children do not need to be repaired – they need to feel. And most importantly, they need to know that security To feel, especially with you.

Below are strong alternatives that verify the health of their inner world and build emotional power:

“i believe you.”
“Your feelings are logical.”
“I’m here with you.”
“You don’t have to be fine now.”
“I saw what happened. How are you?”

These phrases do more than calm. It enhances. They know your child: My feelings are important. I can trust myself. I am not alone.

These responses take practice. You will still say “You are fine” sometimes. This is also good. The goal of this is to practice conscious paternity and motherhood: note our patterns and choice, moment by moment, responding to ways to adopt emotional safety instead of undermining them.

These moments may look small, but they actually help build the emotional foundation of the child. In a world where anxiety, depression and separation increases, so we protect the mental health of our children – one moment of emotional safety at the same time.

Reem Raouda It is a pioneering voice in conscious and creative motherhood Foundation – Al -Shifa transformational magazine for parents is ready to break the courses, do the internal work, and the safe parent becomes emotionally needs their children. It is widely recognized for its pioneering work in the emotional safety of children and the promotion of the parents and children. FFOLLOS on her Instagram.

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